honestly, this was not the school of my choice. i went because of my mom, but i shouldn’t have. she’s not the one going there, i am. & if i’m going to be the one going to school i should’ve went where i wanted to go. nursing is what i want to be, but not being able to do it as i planned makes me not have the urge to do my best that i know i can because i was forced here. i mean i am doing my best, but i know i can do better. i love to learn & i love to read. my mom keeps reminding me of how good i used to do in school & now she barely sees me studying. the thing is i hate having to cram. i hate that feeling of being rushed. i’m not learning, i’m memorizing. how’s that suppose to help me. the only good thing is that i graduate in less than 2 years, but is it worth all this stress & lack of sleep? & having to repeat if i don’t pass because i didn’t understand the lesson that was taught? my graduation date will be pushed back. i remember the first time i had to wear my scrubs to school, i wanted to cry. i knew this wasn’t the school i wanted to go to & i know it makes my mom happy, but i can only do so much for her & put what i want aside. i just wish that i had stood my ground. or she had thought about what i want & taken it into consideration.